ANSWERING THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL:
Thanks for calling the Mental Health Institute, the company's healthier for your moments of greatest folly.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, know what you do and know what they want, so you wait in line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 on the phone giant of colors that you (and only you) go to your right.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, no matter which number you press. Nothing will get out of her plight.
If you suffer from indecision, leave a message after the tone ... or before the tone .... or after the beep ... or during the tone .... In any case, wait for the tone.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy with more important people than you.
But if you're planning to vote for Funes in next election .... please hang up, here we look crazy, not assholes!
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